Telling a story from a child’s point of view is a challenge. Telling it in a child’s language is a challenge as well. This piece was a little difficult for me to get engaged with because of Matheson’s lack of punctuation and the poor grammar (both intentional). This has the feel of an experimental piece.
I think that to be an effective writer at this sort of thing takes a lot of practice. I kept thinking of Cormac McCarthy and his breaking of the rules. I think the challenge put to the reader must be rewarded by the payoff, and in this case, I don’t think the payoff was worth it. A good story, yes, but I think it would have been just as effective told with more conventional grammar and just using the child’s point of view.